Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Saradise Lost - Book 5 - Chapter 57: Alan Grayson - 10 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Will Never Be President

--- by Alan Grayson

Yesterday Chris Matthews said, on the air, that Sarah Palin is "profoundly stupid."

Well that's a little, I don't know, kind of, maybe, a bit blunt.

Matthews was trying to explain why Sarah Palin will never be president. The answer is obvious, I think. Everyone would rather have Tina Fey as president. Sarah Palin and Tina Fey are both very funny. The difference is that Tina Fey is intentionally funny.

I have to say, though, Chris, that you could have made the point with a little more subtlety. For instance, you could have shown a drawing of Palin wearing a t-shirt saying "I'M WITH STUPID," and an arrow pointing up.

Or, Chris, if your show were as clever as Groucho Marx's You Bet Your Life, you could have offered these 10 additional reasons why Sarah Palin will never be president:

(1) Palin doesn't know who is buried in Grant's Tomb.

(2) Palin couldn't tell you when the War of 1812 was fought.

(3) Palin has no clue about the color of George Washington's white horse.

(4) Palin wonders on what day Latinos celebrate the Cinco de Mayo.

(5) Palin isn't sure what weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers.

(6) Palin has no idea in what month the October Revolution took place.

(7) Palin is baffled by the question of who came up with the Monroe Doctrine.

(8) Palin would very much like to know who fought in the French and Indian War.

(9) Palin is puzzled as to who wrote "The Autobiography of Malcolm X."

(10) Palin is at a loss regarding what were JFK's initials.

Well, one thing is for sure. Sarah Palin will never figure out how to get to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

I'm not saying that Sarah Palin is dumb. But I'm not saying that she's not.

When Palin came to my district 10 days before the 2010 election to inform Central Florida that I am a "jackwagon" (video [posted below], with 11 views as I write this) -- I thought to myself: "Wow, I didn't realize that you could fit nine letters onto one palm."

Jonathan Swift once wrote: "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in a confederacy against him." Sarah Palin, you'll never be President of the United States. But at least you are the natural-born leader of that confederacy, now and forevermore.


Geir said...

Below is from an interview with Grayson in the Philadelphia Jewish Voice:

Alan Grayson:

"I am very pleased that I had the chance growing up not just to learn a smattering of Hebrew or to learn the prayers or even to read the Bible, but to be able to have the conversations that I had and learn the things I learned about the right way to live and the right decisions to make when I got a Jewish education"

So Grayson learned the right way to live by receiving a Jewish education. Like Palin, I received a public school education and like Palin, I've made a lot of stupid decisions. Perhaps the USA should adopt the Jewish educational model thereby learning "the right way to live and the right decisions to make" just like Grayson.

Geir said...

Alan Grayson:

"Iran is a tremendous threat to Israel and needs to be stopped."

Now if I had received a "Jewish education" like Grayson I might agree; alas I went to public school and do not agree that going to war with Iran is a good idea.

Grayson also supported Israeli's Cast Lead war in Gaza in addition signing the congressional letter condemning the Goldstone Report which accused Israeli of war crimes in Gaza.

Now if I just had received a "Jewish education" I might agree. Darn those public schools!

Geir said...

Not being a member of the tribe I can only speculate as to why one of our most progressive congressman would think going to war with Iran at Israel's behest is a good idea. Grayson had a bumper sticker on his car that read "Bush Lied, People Died"

Glenn Greenwald who is a member of the tribe offers insight into this phenomenon.

Glenn Greenwald:

"I had it continuously drummed into my head from the time I was a small child, from every direction, that Israel was special and was to be cherished, that it's fundamentally good but persecuted and victimized by Evil Arab forces surrounding it, that I am a part of that group and should see the world accordingly. Is this tribal identity which was pummeled into me from childhood -- rather than some independent, dispassionate analysis -- the reason I find myself perpetually sympathizing with and defending Israel?"

If this is he result of Grayson's "Jewish education" I'm grateful for having attended public schools.

Philip Munger said...

Grayson is an ardent Zionist, but so is almost every single member of congress. He's also one of the most imaginative progressive politicians in the past decade.

If I ever get a chance to engage him in discussion, I'll try to share some of my stories about the humanity of some of my Palestinian friends, hoping he might want to meet them.

Anonymous said...

As far as I can tell, Grayson did not say that we should go to war with Iran. He just said that Iran "should be stopped". There are ways to deal with the situation without going to war.

What is a "jackwagon"? bt

Geir said...

Grayson is clearly advocating military action including ground troops, everything short of occupation. That would be war. Maybe when it's Mission Accomplished in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya; right now we're streched a little thin.

From Grayson's interview in the Philadelphia Jewish Voice:

"Iran. I think that short of occupation, short of sending ground troops for an extended period of time, we need to do everything that we can do to prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons – and that includes military action"

From Maxblumenthal's site:

"Progressive Hero Alan Grayson’s Secret Life As An AIPAC Tool"