Saradise Lost - Book 5 - Chapter 23: And Now, A Word from Sarah Palin

--- by Jane Hamsher

In the wake of the unspeakable acts of the past week, I feel it important to our great nation that I speak out and reassure all the wonderful people who have supported me throughout this tragedy that Mamma Grizzly is still the fighter you have always known and loved.

I think we can all agree that the worst thing to happen in the past week was not the indiscriminate shooting of 20 people at a Tucson supermarket, or the death of a 9 year-old girl and a federal judge — it was the fact that people opportunistically used the event to score political points on me, Sarah Palin. Imagine. Our founders would be shuddering in those big white wigs at the very thought.

We must condemn this outrage if our Republic is to endure.

You might not be familiar with the term “blood libel.” I was going to spring it on Katie Couric because I was pretty sure she wouldn’t know what it meant either, and then who’d have the last laugh. “Gotcha,” Katie. But now seems like the right time to bring it up.

For over a thousand years, Jews have been falsely accused of murdering young children and using their blood to make matzos for Passover. It has been used to justify the persecution and massacre of Jews from the Crusades to the Holocaust. And there is no better way to describe the injustice being visited on me, Sarah Palin, right now, than to equate it to the murder of millions of Jews over the centuries.

Just because I put some little old map up last year, with a symbol over Gabby Giffords’ district that some are calling a “crosshairs,” and Gabby Giffords herself said that it was an irresponsible act that frightened her, some journalists and pundits think it’s fair to incite hatred and violence by asking me about that. I sent an aide out immediately to tell Tammy Bruce right after the shooting that these were nothing more than surveyor symbols. So what if I called them “bulls eyes” and when I released it told people to “reload, not retreat.”

In this moment of terrible tragedy, any journalist who wants to ask me about that is committing an outrage worthy of Joseph Goebbels.

I had one of my people go through my old campaign speeches, and they found this bit where I said that violence was not the answer when I was in Arizona once, and you think that would be enough to satisfy everyone. But no. Just because there had been a dozen or so incidents of vandalism and death threats against Gabby Giffords and other Democrat members of Congress at the time I put up that map, and John Boehner and other Republican leaders were condemning the violence while I was egging people on, the socialist media wants to ask me if it was the absolute smartest thing to do.

It’s obscene. There, I said it. Talk about your pogroms.

In summation, I didn’t really know Gabby Giffords. But right now when she’s lying in a hospital bed, holding her husband’s hand and unable to speak, maybe ever again for the rest of her life, let’s not look back to what she actually DID say. Rather, let’s take a moment while I, Sarah Palin, interpret for you what I think she probably DID mean when she read the First Amendment. I am confident that she would be as offended as I am when, less than a week later, one of her fellow freedom-hating socialist Democrat members of Congress proposed a law that would make my map illegal. Being Jewish and all, I’m sure she knows what “blood libel” means.

To my supporters who have stood by me and Todd and the kids in the midst of this crisis, which I would compare to 9-11 but I don’t think that’s quite strong enough, I want to thank you for your patriotism, your wisdom and your tolerance. I didn’t know the founding fathers either, but since they all ran round shooting each other’s heads off all the time as a way to settle disputes, I’m certain they would consider these questions being raised about my character, my judgment and my leadership at this moment to be nothing short of treason.

So now that we all understand that the real victim here is me, let’s stop this mindless finger-pointing and temper our wild accusations and come together as a nation in a positive manner. Let us strive to be a country of personal responsibility, where people stop blaming everyone but themselves for their problems. America will be a better and stronger country if everyone just remembers to respectfully engage me whenever they want to ask me a question. We must all strive for a better future for our country, and as we all know, what’s good for Sarah Palin is good for America.

for the benefit of the irony challenged: /s