Stevens, Young and Parnell - Three World-Class Bullshit Artists Who Need To GO

We'll start with Sen. Ted Stevens (R - Pioneer Home). Where was he at the end of the week, when he had his chance to put his vote where his mouth has been for the past five weeks?

He's been spouting off about how horrible energy speculators are, and about how their greed has contributed at least 35% to the cost of your transportation fuel, your heating fuel, and to the cost of everything that has to be shipped to Alaska by anything other than sailboat.

He promised to do something about it, coming up with a half-assed package that was doomed to failure from the start. As Progressive Alaska, Shannyn Moore and the Alaska Report have covered - but the Alaska media has completely and purposefully failed to - Ted Stevens was responsible for this situation existing in the first place, when he enabled Sen. Phil Gramm to shove last-minute changes to a bill that Stevens was in charge of shepherding through Stevens' own committee.

Duh...

The changes created Ted and Phil's "Enron Loophole," which has since morphed into the "Energy Speculators' Loophole."

So, as I predicted, Ted's patch-up legislation got nowhere, and when the alternative was voted on last week, he DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP TO VOTE! Sen. Lisa Murkowski did, though. And she voted on the wrong side, the one that wanted energy speculators to be able to continue robbing every Alaskan, child, woman and man completely fucking blind.

And then we have Rep. Don Young (R - Coconut Road). His campaign was so pathetic this past week, you'd think he was the one who escaped from the Pioneer home, rather than St. Ted. His campaign can't even handle dealing with Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell. They're so confused and out of touch, they somehow thought the "Golden Fleece Award" from the Taxpayers for Common Sense was a tribute to his public service. So Don's campaign, already used to ripping off his contributors for over a million dollars to pay for criminal attorneys, wasted another few scores of thousands on one of the stupidest, most erroneously hilarious radio spots in Alaska political history.

And - that's saying something.

Young's campaign, clumsily responded to their error, by telling another lie. Mike Anderson, the flailing Young campaign's idiot-in-chief, claimed Young is really a "Hero of the American Taxpayer." That's an award he's received in the past from Grover Norquist's nihilist organization, Americans for Tax Reform, which should be re-named Corporate Whores for Fucking Over Everyone but Multi-Millionaires and Billionaires.

TfCS will NOT re-award Young this year, because, in his pale, alcohol-fueled desperation, he actually voted for our Veterans and Wounded Warriors, for the first time since the Iraq War started.

Last, but not least, we have another world-class Juneau-Lite bullshit artist - Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell (R - hiding under you-know-who's skirts). It would be easier to pin him down if he'd show up at a campaign event without holding his boss's hand. He didn't even emerge from that protective cover long enough to engage in comments about a host of things concerning his job performance and candidacy this past week or so.

Apart from holding Gov. Palin's flipper between loads of hamburgers and weenies at the Anchorage and Fairbanks Governor's picnics, what has this wan, pasty, uni-dimensional politician actually done lately?

For one, he's changed the wording on how the Alaskans For Clean Elections Initiative will be explained in the 2008 Voter Information pamphlet, and on the ballot itself. Up until a week ago, the state's explanation was:

“An Act establishing a program of public funding for campaigns for state elected offices, to be known as the Alaska Clean Elections Act."

That has been changed to:

“An Act establishing a program of government funding for campaigns for state elected offices."

Parnell hasn't participated in a candidates forum since he was derided and all but booed at the Hispanic Affairs Council of Alaska forum, 73 DAYS AGO! He's taken advantage of almost universal dissatisfaction in Rep. Young's job performance and has raked in big bucks - like Ethan Berkowitz has - from outside PACs who want to own a brand new virgin in DC come January, 2009.

Don Young images by Dennis Zaki at Alaska Report