Joe the Teabagger Campaign Death Spiral Watch - Day 11: Joe Miller Sues His Own Dad

In a development that surprised many, Joe Miller announced early Thursday afternoon that he is suing his own father, Rex Miller, for divulging confidential information about the younger Miller that relates to the son's job performance while employed by the Fairbanks North Star Borough. Here's Miller's statement, read by the U.S. Senate candidate as he was joined by his new attorney, Tomas von Anthony Brown, esq, formerly a prosecutor for the East German government:

My father violated my confidence by sharing what nobody else knew about me. Well, actually, maybe he made it up. Maybe not. I'm not going to tell you. And if you keep asking me, I'll have you arrested.

The information Rex Miller released was in my personnel file. Or maybe not. Or maybe he heard his information from Jim Whitaker. Certainly not from me.

I'm asking that my dad pay all my legal fees, the balance of my college loans, and my alimony when I finally break the news on........

Uh, where was I?

Oh, yeah. My dad could not have possibly discovered that, as he wrote, "one noon hour, on his own time at the borough, Joe participated in an online poll voting against Randy,” without consulting with Whitaker or other treacherous Fairbanks employees.

My dad went on to make this up: “He used four office computers in the office to do it, thinking this was his chance to boost numbers to get rid of Randy. He emptied the cache files on the computers so the users wouldn’t know what he had done."

I wouldn't have done that. It would have been a Federal crime. So, not only is my dad collaborating with Jim Whitaker and others who are working for Lisa Murkowski, he's making shit up out of thin air.

If I have to, I'll pursue my own dad to the gates of Hell to get back at Lisa Murkowski, Jim Whitaker and those 40 treacherous Commie Republicans.

I can guarantee you that my East German friends, and the outstanding professionals at Drop Zone International Security Services - who have a big future, by the way, in a Joe Miller-controlled U.S. Senate - are watching all of you.

Very, very closely.

I may sue you too.

All of you.

At the conclusion of the press conference, a few reporters noticed Miller fingering a couple of stainless steel marbles in the palm of his hand, as he nervously looked around the crowd.