The New Red-Letter Edition of the Bible

Yesterday both Gryph and AK Muckraker wrote about the project afoot at that awesome, evolutionary institution/web presence called "Conservapedia," to rewrite the "Unalterable Word of God," by, uh - changing what God wrote.

I've got about a dozen bibles, including my favorite, the King James Version. I've got one in Spanish, and a delightful rephrasing of the New Testament, by J.B. Phillips. I've got Thomas Jefferson's Bible, that is limited mostly to words spoken by Jesus. It is fairly short.

Another of my favorites was given to me by my Aunt Hazel when I graduated from High School. In the New Testament, the words spoken by Jesus are printed in red. It is called the Red Letter Edition of the Bible.

People all around the blogosphere are coming to the assistance of Conservapedia's efforts to eliminate liberal bias from the Good Book. Here are the early results from that trusty expert, General JC Christian, Patriot:

• "And Jesus spake, 'Become thou now fishers of adjustable rate mortgages'"

• "And Jesus rebuked the money changers for not colluding."

• "Noah commanded the dinosaurs to leave the ark, for they were kind of swarthy"

• "No greater love hath a man than that he gets drunk & endlessly mumbles about the 'socialist' in the White House"

• Change title of "Song of Solomon" to "Solomon's Toe Taps"

• "And Satan appeared to Eve in the shape of an ACORN"

• "Blessed are the warbloggers, for they shall eat cheetos."

• "And David remained king for he had not put his little king into a woman's mouth"

• "And Sampson slew the Philistines with a jawbone of a stegosaurus"

• "Jesus turned the water into napalm and laid waste to the Samaritans for what the Egyptians hath done"

• "Woe be unto the Nazareth Post, for we countethed 13 million people at the Sermon on the Mount."

• "Go thou now and bomb the shit out of the swarthy"

• "Jesus spake, 'I hope those foreign bastards don't translate my English into Greek.'

• "And the Holy Spirit spake unto Mary, 'Hast thou seen mine bald eagle etchings?'"

• "Suffer the little children so their detained parents will talk."

• "And then Adam deliverethed a bill unto Eve for his rib."

• "Collective punishment exciteth me. Had to drape a fleece over mine loins for months after the Great Flood."

• "And behold, Jesus spake, 'Take thine hands off mine fishes & loaves thou mooching motherfuckers'"

• "And Jesus shankethed the census taker with a shiv."

• God forced to marry Mary.

• Jesus turns water into Pabst Blue Ribbon.

• Jesus beats leper for non-payment of healing fees.

Great job, JC! Here's my effort. I've re-worded the beatitudes and some other utterances made by Jesus, imagining he had been unable to resist the temptations of the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck and Sarah Palin. Jesus' new words, as influenced by these prophets of profit, are in my NEW red-letter edition.

• Blessed are the WARmakers: for they shall be called the children of Erik Prince. [Matthew 5:9]
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• Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him to Homeland Security or Blackwater, should he be named Ibn or Mohammed or Hussein also. [Matthew 5:39]
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• I say unto you, Hate your enemies, fuck over them that curse you, do mayhem to them that hate you, and curse them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; [Matthew 5:44]
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• If any one of you is without sin within the last fifteen minutes, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7]
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• Do not judge, lest you too be judged, except when you want to judge without being judged. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]
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• Blessed are the merciless: for they shall obtain Regnery and Murdoch book contracts and NewsMax book buys. [Matthew 5:7]
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• But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, Rush, your Father, will forgive your trespasses in exchange for 100 oxycontins, delivered in a brown paper bag, behind the nearest Wal Mart. [Matthew 6:15]
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• Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of generosity or cooperation; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. [Luke 12.15.] Truly, I say unto you, it will be quite easy for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. [Matthew 19:23]
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• You CAN serve both God and Money. [Matthew 6:24.]
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• Render NEVER, therefore, unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto Jerry Prevo and selected televangelists the things that are God's. [Matthew 22:21]
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• Love your neighbor as best suits your personal interests of the moment .[Matthew 22:39]
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• So in everything, do to others as you would do if you knew nobody was looking at you. [Matthew 7:12.]
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• If you would be perfect, go, set up a telemarketing or sub-prime mortgage loan scam, and you will have treasure in heaven. [Matthew 19:21]
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• But when you give a feast, invite the people most likely to envy or help you in the future, and laugh at the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, except at outrageously high interest rates. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. [Luke 14:13&14.]

Saradise Lost - Chapter Sixteen -- Palin's Views on the End Times

I first met Alaska Governor and GOP Vice Presidential aspirant Sarah Palin when she was on the City of Wasilla Planning Commission. I appeared at one of their meetings, along with my boss at that time, now-convicted ex-Allvest CEO, Bill Weimer. We were presenting a proposal Allvest was working on, in conjunction with a Wasilla-based mental health clinic, to open a community corrections project there, and needed a facility permit.

At that time, I remembered her, because she seemed to be the only person on the commission who had actually read our proposal. It was obvious from her questions.

Of the encounters I've since had with Sarah Palin, two that brought up her faith, have become important, in light of the possibility that she might someday soon be in charge of thousands of thermonuclear weapons.

In June 1997, both Palin and I had responsibilities at the graduation ceremony of a small group of Wasilla area home schoolers. I directed the Mat-Su College Community Band, which played music, and she gave the commencement address. It was held at her church, the Wasilla Assembly of God.

Palin had recently become Wasilla mayor, beating her earliest mentor, John Stein, the then-incumbent mayor. A large part of her campaign had been to enlist fundamentalist Christian groups, and invoke evangelical buzzwords into her talks and literature.

As the ceremony concluded, I bumped into her in a hall away from other people. I congratulated her on her victory, and took her aside to ask about her faith. Among other things, she declared that she was a young earth creationist, accepting both that the world was about 6,000-plus years old, and that humans and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time.

I asked how she felt about the second coming and the end times. She responded that she fully believed that the signs of Jesus returning soon "during MY lifetime," were obvious. "I can see that, maybe you can't - but it guides me every day."

Our next discussion about religion was after she had switched to the less strict Wasilla Bible Church. She was speaking at, I was performing bugle, at a Veterans ceremony between Wasilla and Palmer. At this time, people were beginning to encourage her to run for Governor.

Once again, we found ourselves being able to talk privately. I reminded her of the earlier conversation, asking her if her views had changed. She was no longer "necessarily" a young earth creationist, she told me. But she strongly reiterated her belief that "The Lord is coming soon." I was trying to get her to tell me what she felt the signs were, when she had to move on.

note: Feel free to reprint this article.

MEA Coal Plant Plan Bites the Dust

Matanuska Electrical Association, a so-called utility "co-op," that has been run by a board of directors with more neural links to the animals that roamed the earth when coal was being created than to modern mankind, has announced plans to shelve their Palmer coal-fired power plant for at least five years. MEA General Manager, Wayne Carmony announced, in an e-mail to board members, that "until problems with the borough's ordinance can be addressed and recent spikes in world coal plant prices stabilize, it is imprudent to proceed with construction of the coal portion" of the utility's plan to provide more power in the future for its service area.

The utility hasn't yet made a public announcement. Carmony's e-mail has surfaced, prompting Anchorage Daily News reporter Rindi White - who knows the Mat-Su Valley political arena - to get a statement from MEA spokeswoman, Lorali Carter. Carter said little, other than that MEA RFPs for their plant structure and infrastructure aren't getting the responses the board's denizens would like to hear. I read that to mean that the predictions of huge cost overruns on the project by the local groups Utility Watch and MEA Ratepayers Alliance were accurate.

I'm on the board of Palmer-based Friends of Mat-Su. When this issue surfaced early last spring, we debated how or whether FoMS should weigh in on this issue. We ended up strongly supporting educational efforts on the issue in the community, and met with representatives of the two orgs referenced above.

Over the next week, you'll probably see MEA trot out Carmony and Director of Human Resources and Corporate Affairs, Tuckerman Babcock, to blame their failure on others. Commenters at the Anchorage Daily News article on the MEA non-announcement are leading the way, blaming the Carmony decision on the Friends of Mat-Su, and on one of the Valley's - and Alaska's - leading progressives, Jim Sykes, Utility Watch's frontline spokesman.

There is a recall movement afoot against MEA board members Lee B. Jordan, David Dahms, and Larry DeVilbis. The petition is close to having the number of signatures necessary to hold a recall election. With the lengthening string of progressive victories in what was once a bastion of wingnuttiness, even by Alaska standards, these three dinosaurs will never be able to feel the heat of what they love to call clean coal warming their tootsies. But they ARE feeling the heat of the ongoing progressive and populist revolutions in Alaska.

To me, the best long-term solutions to this set of problems are a pooling of utility sources to build a geothermal plant in the Alaska Range, and to build a hydroelectric dam in the upper Susitna River valley. These would both be very expensive initially, but would create no air pollution. Projects like these need Federal and State money, though. Representative Don Young has halfheartedly introduced legislation on the Susitna Dam, but he's not going to be a player in how these problems eventually get solved. One way or another, Young is serving his final term in Congress.

Of the three Democratic candidates running against each other to take Young's (or Young's appointed successor's) seat, Diane Benson and Ethan Berkowitz have made renewable energy for Alaska's future major parts of their platforms. The third candidate, Jake Metcalfe, when questioned in August about his position on the MEA plant proposal as it then existed, told me "I'll have to think about that." His major campaign supporter, IBEW, hasn't issued a statement on their position on the original MEA proposal either.

More coming....

"I'm Not Going to Take My Advice from Sarah Palin" - Obama

Nor am I.

Actually, nobody should. Look how much good it did Bristol, for instance. The list of people who took Sarah Palin's advice and ended up with her tread marks on their foreheads is long.

But this nuke stuff IS way too serious for a person who believes and earnestly hopes Jesus will return in her lifetime, and that humans and really big dinosaurs walked the earth during the same times.

I'm extremely dubious of many things our current president has done since I voted for him. But his stance on nuclear arms and nuclear proliferation is shaping up to be the best since President Reagan got all shook up from watching The Day After.


His treaty signing in Prague Thursday was an important milestone. He hopes to keep the momentum going on this next week with a Washington DC conference on creating a new, 21st century compliance regime. Guess who doesn't want to cooperate?

Here's Obama, on Sarah Palin as nuclear arms issue expert. No doubt Palin asked for some grain alcohol and spring water after watching:

Palin - Obama "Escalated a Minor Zoning Decision into a Major Breach"

Here's Sarah Palin this morning at the GOP conference in NOLA that has yet to mention Hurricane Katrina:


"A minor zoning decision"? Here's a video that explains the history of what the former mayor of Wasilla has described is these quaint terms:


And here's a map that shows how that "zoning" has worked in the larger area of the former Palestine Mandate, since 1948:
In her Friday morning Southern Republican Leadership Conference speech, Palin's intentional mispronunciation of "nuclear" as "nukular," - or however one spells it - is as troublesome as her belittlement of the beginnings of the most important nuclear arms agreement in a generation was the other day.

I've seen Palin's cold eyes, as she told me that the world is a mere 6,000 to 7,000 years old, that humans and very, very big dinosaurs walked the earth together (presumably before the Noachian Deluge), and that she looks forward to seeing Jesus return to Earth during her lifetime.

I've long been critical of our Alaska media's refusal to openly condemn or even chastise Palin for inciting divisive conduct and activities up here. But now, with George Stephanopoulis' insinuation of this superstitious pathological liar into dialogue with the President on nuclear armament, without putting the craziness of this woman and her beliefs into context, the same irresponsibility regarding Palin I've seen in Alaska for years, is coming front and center into national politics.

Her ability to misframe issues was proven in the "death panel" issue last summer. Will we see the national media's desperation for hits and viewers, combined with their realization that Palin brings more hits and viewers than anyone else, cause the same sort of damage to the national discourse her presence inflicted upon Alaska up to last year?

hat tip - Shannyn Moore

Saradise Lost - Book 2 - Chapter 18 --

This past weekend, in local and national reporting on the Friday night fire at the Wasilla Bible Church, the media, in efforts to drive up circulation in their dying industry, and Governor Sarah Palin, hoping to keep her name in the national news in a self-serving way, were quite willing to dish out an inaccurate portrayal of why people in Alaska and the USA have been concerned about Palin's religious affiliations and beliefs.

Gov. Palin's religious activities were little known outside of Southcentral Alaska, until she was picked by Sen. John McCain to be his running mate in the 2008 presidential contest. Then national media writers and Alaska bloggers covered aspects of her religious background in detail. The Wasilla Bible Church's bulletin's schedule of upcoming events at other churches was way, way, way down the list.

Linda Kellen, at Celtic Diva's Blue Oasis covered this Sunday:

It was made clear at the time [in September, 2008] that the actual Conference did NOT take place at the Wasilla Bible Church, but at the Abbott Loop Christian Center in Anchorage. No...the truly negative attention went to her previous church...the one that she still occasionally attended despite her claim that she had switched churches...the Wasilla Assembly of God.

Coverage in the local and national press last weekend and through this week so far, has been like this:

The 1,000-member evangelical church was the subject of intense scrutiny after Palin was named John McCain's running mate. Early in Palin's campaign, the church was criticized for promoting in a Sunday bulletin a Focus on the Family "Love Won Out Conference" in Anchorage. The conference promised to "help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome."

That makes no sense. The Wasilla church noted in a bulletin that another church was having an upcoming event. Dozens of southcentral Alaska evangelical churches posted the same notice.

The only controversy involving Gov. Palin and the Wasilla Bible Church, was her attendance, a couple of weeks before the VP selection, at a conference there, led by David Brickner. Brickner heads the evangelical-friendly organization, Jews for Jesus. Palin's attendance at this sole controversial session at the WBC merited little local or national attention during the fall campaign. Nor did the WBC's role in promoting the Abbot Loop event.

The two big issues during the 2008 presidential race about her religious beliefs were her relationship with Pastor Thomas Muthee, and her one-time young earth creationism fervor.

I've been waiting for four days to see if the coverage was going to make some sort of honest attempt to revisit the Subject of Palin's religious views past the meme that began on Saturday. I just did another Google check. It doesn't appear to have happened yet.

The essence of the story about Palin and her religious views, as they pertain to her performance in office, by and large, have almost nothing to do with her membership at the WBC. The most important aspects of her beliefs, to me, are these:

1. Her adherence, when it comes to public policy regarding LBGT issues, to follow moral precepts that tangle separation of church and state.

2. Her adherence to, when it comes to public policy regarding science, to a set of beliefs (such as biblical inerrancy) that fly in the face of reason, historical evidence and common sense. This is a further entanglement.

3. Her continued ties to the organizations affiliated with Pastor Thomas Muthee. They directly advocate the end of separation of church and state, wherever they operate. Not only in Africa, but in Western Hemisphere countries like Brazil and Guatamala, whenever adherents of sects tied to the network associated with Muthee gain dominance in the local political regime, they act like thugs or worse. Some of these shadowy organizations refer to Palin as Queen Esther.

4. The overwhelming evidence, between her Muthee ties, and the only actual event at the WBC that Palin did attend there that is of concern - the event last summer conducted by David Brickner -of her advocacy, albeit very discreet, of intrinsically anti-Semitic organizations.

5. The growing financial support during the Palin administration to faith-based organizations that are preeminently fundamentalist, coupled with her numerous appointments of fundamentalists to state positions and to boards. In regard to the latter, I'm not that concerned about these appointments if the appointee is eminently qualified, but many don't appear to have been the best choice. Her initial replacement for Walt Monegan was certainly a case in point.

Many liberal and progressive writers have referred to President George W. Bush's "code words" and phrases, targeted to the end-times mind set. Most of Bush's references are fairly under-the-radar, unless one is looking for them. Palin's are less so. And on their own, Palin's almost constant references to phrases that come from her religious upbringing, are harmless.

But all along, since August 29th, some have been genuinely worried that the whole package that Palin represents on the spiritual front, especially when set against her inanity and personal selfishness, is of concern.

Two things about how this is (or is not) playing out fascinate me.

The first is the way my June 1997 conversation with Palin about creationism and the end times went. On September 3rd, I published a post, recounting two of my three conversations over the years with Palin on her creationism views. A number of national blogs picked up the post. These were followed by national media outlets, wanting to interview me, check my veracity. These were followed by calls or emails from a number of academics, psychologists and psychiatrists, trying to figure out Sarah Palin. And of course, Tina Fey and the SNL crew picked up on the dinosaurs and humans together aspect immediately.

Did the local media bother to ask me anything about this? No. I have no idea why they didn't.

Several right-wing blogs commented that I had been after Palin for decades, or years, or months, depending upon which blog one read. That simply wasn't true.

The second thing that concerns me, perhaps more now, as we watch coverage of the WBC fire continue, is the inability of American media to intelligently deal with the worsening ramifications of superstitious people like Palin in their role as administrators or executives of science-based agencies, and how that hurts our state, our country, our planet.

Palin is deeply superstitious. Yet media coverage of the WBC fire possibly having been motivated by Palin's being a member of that congregation, and Palin's own post-fire statements, portray an unnamed, amorphous possible perpetrator as being motivated by some evil, hateful notion.

It may turn out that the fire was started by somebody motivated by hatred toward Gov. Palin. But possibly inaccurate, certainly incomplete portrayals of possible crime motives by the media are deplorable.

I've always had mixed feelings about Sarah Palin. All my conversations with her, most of them inconsequential, were polite. I like her dad, miss fishing next to him at Fish Creek. My kids adore him.

The Sarah Palin who emerged in early September is another matter, though. Between remembering what I had forgotten about her over the past 18 years, and reading new aspects of her past, I've grown to feel that she isn't just unfit to be the Vice President of the United States, but that she isn't particularly fit for public office at any level.

The fact that she's our governor now, instead of doing something else, is in no small part because Alaska media, particularly KTUU-TV and the Anchorage Daily News, failed to fully cover her terms as mayor of Wasilla, and interim roles on the path to Juneau Per Diem.

I hope they do their job in the future, on covering Sarah Palin.

middle image - Gen. JC Christian, Patriot